She started sharing what she went through overseas on the mission field - experiences that would ultimately cause her to leave the community she knew for years. She would rupture many relationships, and the reputation she had worked for years to build. She didn’t know it then, but what lay ahead would require a version of herself she’d never met before. She would learn about spiritual abuse; how it played a part in the 7 prior years of her life. Her faith crisis would come unexpectedly. She would enter into the unknown, and the various ways in which she would tear down and rebuild would cost her much of what she knew about herself, people overall, and the Divine. 

Little did she know, this experience wasn’t unique to her. 

The more she healed out loud, the more others came forward with their own stories of spiritual abuse. She would grieve the romanticized version of the Christian Church she once held. This statement held true for her: “You don’t know deep grief if you don’t know deep love.” 

Against the Undertow has been founded as a response. The grief she’s endured has never left. To this point, neither has the love. She knows she’s not alone in this sentiment. 

Because of this, she couldn’t help but dream of the day where people who can relate would find each other and be able to walk away saying, “I’m not alone.”